The Triangle of Truth: What I’m Currently Reading
I often receive books in the mail from authors who want to share their work for media purposes. I feel honored to receive them and I take the time to read many.
Recently, I received a book entitled, The Triangle of Truth, written by Lisa Earle McLeod. This particular book really caught my attention because not only was the press letter poignant and hard-hitting; for me … the powerful message was timely. The Triangle of Truth concept is not brand new. In fact, it’s simple. Nevertheless, it is often difficult to exercise because many times we are ruled by our emotions.
In one of Lisa’s articles on The Huffington Post’s website entitled, The Triangle of Truth: Just Because I’m Right, Doesn’t Mean You’re Wrong, she explains the model …
Here’s how it works: when faced with an issue, instead of taking a straight-line approach, think of it like a triangle.
The line at the bottom represents the problem, where you are today. The two potential solutions are the right and left corners. Instead of wasting time moving back and forth along the bottom, trying to convince people that your side is the real truth; look for the ultimate solution at the top of the triangle, the pinnacle, the part that’s supported by both sides.
It’s not a compromised point, it’s a higher level solution that honors you both. The faster you acknowledge the other person’s truth, the quicker you’ll get there. Because validating another’s truth doesn’t make you weaker; it makes you stronger.
In The Triangle of Truth, Lisa candidly talks about how we as human beings are often quick to close and lock the door on people because we are only willing to see our side of what we call the truth. There is no negotiating. There is usually no empathy, or sympathy shown for the other person. Only utter disregard is displayed toward them. Quite honestly, this happens because we are narrow-minded and selfish. Even if we do meet in the middle, which is the ultimate goal, we see our side as “right” and their side as “wrong” whether it’s regarding religion, politics, immigration or something as simple as how hand towels should hang in the bathroom.
Simply stated, the Triangle of Truth requires us to be honest with ourselves and with the person we are considering banishing into the abyss. Since honesty requires us to be selfless, in a world where individuality is promoted with reckless abandon, the completion of the “Triangle” is often never completed. So relationships, personal and/or business related are lost, sometimes forever.
There are also instances where people have wronged us, or we believe they have wronged us and we can’t see or move beyond the stinging hurt. Quite frankly, many of us have no problem accepting the duality (what Lisa calls the Flawed and Fabulous) within ourselves; however, most of us cannot or will not accept the duality in other people. In other words, we treat the other person as if they are flawed, with no goodness in them. Deep down, we literally say to ourselves, “There will be no reconciliation.” We exercise the of gift of “goodbye.” The door is slammed, locked, and the key is often discarded. This is our way of saying good riddance.
If we must progress as human beings and begin to see the entire planet as a community, we must get down to the heart of the matter and concentrate on embracing the Triangle of Truth model by figuring out how to meet on middle ground so we can move forward together.
I’m still in the first chapter but I look forward to reading more of what Lisa has to say in her book, The Triangle of Truth … The Surprisingly Simple Secret to Resolving Conflicts Large and Small. Thanks Lisa.
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